Big Stuff and Small Stuff

Tonight, I was responding to an email from a friend who has kids. Like most folks with kids, he’s sincerely wanting to do his best and offered that he’s just trying to keep things in perspective.

As I was working on the email, I managed to write that it’s easy to say, as a parent, you need to pay attention to the big stuff and don’t sweat the small stuff. I added that I think the real hard part is knowing what is the “big stuff” and what is the “small stuff”. And I offered that, even after doing this parent thing for a while, not a week goes by that I don’t get a “big stuff, small stuff” lesson.

I think that the interesting part of “small vs. big” is that there are a lot (I mean a LOT) of value judgments tied up in that distinction. Not surprising, I guess because the very words invoke something as to the hierarchy of one’s values.

I think some number of people tend to use the expression about “not sweating the small stuff” as an excuse to let things slide. I think my take on it is somewhat different… “don’t sweat the small stuff” is something closer to a command and failing to let little things go is a shortcoming of some proportion. The implication being that it’s actually easier to do the opposite. I also try hard take its corollary to heart (“sweat over the big stuff”) and strive to be intransigent in approach on those things.

It can be hard to summon up the restraint to not sweat certain things. And it's often harder to summon up the discipline necessary to grind through and apply the perserverance and attention to detail required on the big stuff.

It’s odd, but more often than not, both of these feel like the road less traveled.